So apparently when I was not even born yet, my grandmother was known as Rocky among her friends or Auntie Rocky. Her real name though is Rokiah Talib, a retired prof, a strong opinionated feminist and oh good lord such a competitive human being. Always telling me how many juzu' she has finished today and asking me, "kau dah baca berapa juzu'?" just because of my boarding school background. But to me, she is just Opah to me.
Today is a monday and we all know what working feels like on a monday. So while today is a working day, but unfortunately I am just a weak human being. Your mind is still hangover from the weekend and your focus is still slowly increasing it's altitude like a plane that just took off from the runway. My work station at home is overlooking our backyard so as I was mindlessly floating and gazing upon the green grass, suddenly I heard strange sounds.
I saw someone raking the dried leaves on the yard slightly after zohor prayers or like the malay phrase goes "tengah-tengah hari buta" I thought to myself, could it be the gardener? But I am quite sure he only comes during the weekends so who could it be? Suddenly I had that lightbulb spark in my head, like one of those that Tom and Jerry had when an idea dawned upon them. True enough, Professor Dr Rokiah Talib is raking the leaves at 2 o'clock in the afternoon with her phone pouch and shades on like nothing else matters in this world.
"Kenyang dibuatnya", is exactly the right phrase and emotions on how I would describe this grandmother of mine. As the eldest grandchild in this family and living literally under her roof for the past 15 years, the pressure, responsibility and naggings that I have received and will continue to receive is honestly a mammoth task to carry. Seeing your 80 year old grandmother raking dried leaves tengah-tengah hari buta, gila ke kau tak risau? And that's just the tip of the iceberg of all the other crazy situations. However, I have learned that nothing good comes out of excessive worrying.
Personally, I feel that worrying is a by product of care that branches out from a group of emotions portaying love. So worrying about the safety and wellbeing of another person, animal or any other living thing is perfectly normal and fine. In fact, it is such a good thing to have but in the right amount. Anything less will make you selfish, anything more will make you insane.
For the past 15 years, I have lived in a house with 2 strong alpha females. While the other 5 in the house are males, but these 2 female figures are definitely the ones under the spotlight and the centre of the universe in this humble abode of ours. And I believe it's because both my father and grandfather empowers these 2 great women to unleash their true potential by becoming themselves but always having the guidance and support of their husbands.
So I think that's what women empowerment is to me. Women empowerment is Opah raking dried leaves at 2 o'clock in the afternoon just because she wants to make sure that the house is clean, or more like her house is clean, she wants to make sure her family has good manners, becomes a better muslim, never does harm to others. But most importantly it's because a woman does all of these things out of love and it's only natural for a woman to do so.
When we see the true intentions of why people we love do the things they do, it will always amaze us. Usually it's because they love us and that is one of the best wordly gifts that not many have the chance to experience. The feeling of being loved and being appreciated without prejudice is definitely a gift from God through his servants like us. So let's try and understand and accept. Let's all become better receivers of love. Accepting love might be daunting too sometimes but there's always a rainbow after the rain right?
So to those that have read this post from start to finish, you might have just guessed it right. It is I who has troubles accepting love from people outside my family, or in other words accepting love from another girl. Is it because the women in my family have set such high standards? Being succesful women outside but come home and still rake leaves at 2 in the afternoon? Or maybe am I afraid that I cannot come close to becoming great husbands like the men in my family?
I am quite a simple person but I am definitely very picky. I don't settle for less and I always believe in quality. I say I am simple because as I grow, I have learned to agree to disagree even if it means you disagree with it. I hold on to my principles. I may bend my principles, but I rarely seldomly break it. I really don't expect my future wife to rake dried leaves at noon too but I would like to know that she knows what she has to do when she needs to do it. So here it is, what I am trying to say is "Bring It On!" Let the dating game begin and may Allah guide and bless this journey to complete my faith.
Selamat Tahun Baru Hijriah. Salam Awal Muharram.
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Shafique Danial Johari
3 Muharram 1444 / 1 August 2022
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