Abah passed away a few months back and yesterday was 3 months to be exact however, there are certain family members and close friends that have been wondering do I grief? do I cry? do I allow my sadness and sorrow to flow out naturally? Of course, I’m only human so I definitely do. I do grief when I recall a certain memory of my Dad but I just don’t share, I do cry but I prefer to cry alone instead of in public and I think that’s just the way I am. I may be a social butterfly and can instantly crack a joke or start a conversation with almost anyone but deep down, I very much prefer things to be very private. Maybe part of it subconsciously, was because I grew up in a very conservative malay family and being the eldest grandchild on both my paternal and maternal sides I used to spend a lot of time with the older ladies. I learned my way to become the best communicator. If you’ve watched Crazy Rich Asians before, imagine the scene where they were doing dumplings at the dining table well
So apparently when I was not even born yet, my grandmother was known as Rocky among her friends or Auntie Rocky. Her real name though is Rokiah Talib, a retired prof, a strong opinionated feminist and oh good lord such a competitive human being. Always telling me how many juzu' she has finished today and asking me, "kau dah baca berapa juzu'?" just because of my boarding school background. But to me, she is just Opah to me. Today is a monday and we all know what working feels like on a monday. So while today is a working day, but unfortunately I am just a weak human being. Your mind is still hangover from the weekend and your focus is still slowly increasing it's altitude like a plane that just took off from the runway. My work station at home is overlooking our backyard so as I was mindlessly floating and gazing upon the green grass, suddenly I heard strange sounds. I saw someone raking the dried leaves on the yard slightly after zohor prayers or like the malay