Monday, 16 July 2012

Oh My English!


If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.
After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he'd prefer six months of hard labour to reading six lines aloud.
Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Fe0ffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!
English Pronunciation by G. Nolst Trenité

Tuesday, 3 July 2012

The Reason Why Moms Are Mean

I WAS A MEAN MOTHER BUT WON'T FEEL SORRY ABOUT IT.

To all the lovely mums….forward to your kids……
Mean Moms

Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent,
I will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me:
I loved you enough to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home.

I loved you enough to be silent and let you
discover that your new best friend was a creep.

I loved you enough to stand over you for
two hours while you cleaned your room,
a job that should have taken 15 minutes.

I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect..

I loved you enough to let you assume the
responsibility for your actions even when the
penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.

But most of all, I loved you enough to say
NO when I knew you would hate me for it.

Those were the most difficult battles of all.
I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won, too. And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic that 
motivates parents, you will tell them.

Was your Mom mean?

I know mine was.
We had the meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast,
we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.

When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches.

And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too.

Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison.

She had to know who our friends were and what we were doing with them. She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, 
we would be gone for an hour or less.

We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work.

We had to wash the dishes, make the beds,
learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry,
empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs.
I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.

She always insisted on us telling the truth,
the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds and had eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really tough!

Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk
the horn when they drove up They had to come up to the door
so she could meet them.

Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced.

None of us have ever
been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's
property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.
Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults.
We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was.

I think that is what's wrong with the world today. It just doesn't have enough mean moms!

Monday, 2 July 2012

Cinta Yang Agung

Suka dan duka ku menemanimu
Gelak tawa dan senyum manismu
Akan ku pahat di dalam kalbu
Hanya Tuhan saja yg tahu

Tiada khabar tiada berita
Dalam senyum aku derita
Menanti datangnya si jelita
Membawa berita untuk gembira

Siang malam tidak ku henti
Tiba suatu gerak hati
Cinta yang agung lagi hakiki
Allahhu rabbi lebih bererti...

Shafique Danial - June 2012

Happy 18th Birthday Adylin Hady


18 is a special number we should enjoy and share,
Especially when it’s about someone we care,
Adylin Hady amazing and cool like wind in the air,
Expressing our love a montage we prepare…

A simple something to show we won’t flee
When you’re down we’ll try to make you glee
It’s like the song “count on me”
Deep inside we love you trust me…

Teman

Kali pertama ku tatap wajahmu
Hatiku ibarat memanggil namamu
Akan tetapi kisah tentangmu
Membuat aku menjadi keliru

Walau kutukkan tidak berakal
Hatiku tetap ingin mengenal
Akhirnya tidak aku menyesal
Sebuah permata yang tidak disangkal

Masih segar dalam memori
Saat pertama kita berdiri
Bertentang mata di malam hari
Bagai dalam sebuah mimpi

Semakin hari semakin ku lupa
Perasaan pertama aku di dada
Tetapi semua telah tiada
Malah telah menjadi cinta

Tapi kini kau sudah tiada
Mengalirnya sungai air mata
Namun ku redha dengan ketentuanNya
Dipanggil oleh yang Maha Esa

Kini kau telah menjadi kenangan
Namun bukan sebarang kenangan
Saat bersama sukar ku lupakan
Kerana kau bukan sekadar teman



Shafique Danial - June 2012